i can hear you screaming his name through the brick walls between us every moan is a heartache and i erupt in these bedsheets but all you are is pale skin and bright eyes like a light in the contrast no comfort, no hearts the only love i felt was the love alone empty nights, chasing a flickering light choked by strings and a dead end hope but this storm has only begun i could have been yours with just those three words but expectations became imagination so i'm carefully separating limb after limb as an act of your entertainment edit my heartbeat with pills my lungs, filled with coal no longer breathing no longer feeling every night you've stolen from us watching the headlights turn into your eyes i'll take them back i'll take them back we will never surrender we will stand tall we will redeem your mirages of adolescencent love distorting our hope into cold days alone desperate to feel warmth this is letting go your downfall is brought with the horizon the end is nigh, just one more mile we shall all be free we will never surrender we will stand tall we will redeem every night you've stolen from us watching the headlights turn into your eyes i'll take them back i'll take them back

drive faster, we're losing her heartbeat and after all we've been through, we can't disintegrate tonight and the radio sings lullabies in black and white, to keep us loveless this ambulance isn't moving fast enough feel the wheels spin, the asphalt is giving in every road knows what we've seen we said that these two hearts were lost and found home but our home is withering away her pulse keeps fading, she's giving up hope time is running out, with every root growing from my legs her love is sowing me into - her love is rotting in her chest but words won't keep you alive if there's no love left in you, i have to take my heart back because this is not my home she's just skin and bones but what am i, am i monster or man? she's innocent and pure – so i can't bear the sight of her dead limbs shaking as they stitch her legs to her death bed do i resuscitate her or do i let her go? there must be more to life than love but i can't let go without a heart not strong enough to carry on when living in the past is the only comfort i have even when it kills me, every day not strong enough to carry on to take my heart back i'll die by your side this ambulance isn't moving... this ambulance isn't moving fast enough.

i'll lose the feeling i'll lose the feeling on us but i'm not giving up until i'm caving in i'm not waiting i'm not waiting for us to surrender limb after limb just answer me before i'm coming apart like the bottle you stared in every night i've been searching for some kind of answers to all the questions you never asked you became the word stuck on every tongue cursing and seducing shattered and left behind when the summer came, i was fighting through the autumn i'm not giving up until you drag me out i'm still screaming your name, as it were my own. everything for every time i sacrifice myself i'd give it all for you to be a part of "us" you became the word stuck on every tongue cursing and seducing shattered and left behind when the summer came, i was fighting through the autumn i was fighting through the autumn

BURN. pretender, you beg me for mercy. deceiver, you plead for a last chance. separator, backstabber. charlatan, i'm taking back what's mine. solitude is spelled y-o-u everyone you ever loved is gone egoistic and self-obsessed in every face you see yourself an empty shell, a manufactured disguise to seduce and to satisfy your own needs in your eyes she's less than an object manipulator, your name is engraved in shame her eyes tell you that this is something more but your eyes are blind to conscience shapeshifter, keep making excuses and you'll be entering a hornet's nest. you'll wake up dead. run up to the apartment, kiss her hand and dance her into bed. can't you feel the guilt? making her a victim of your countless lies. PRETENDER. DECIEVER. SEPARATOR. CHARLATAN. in every face you see yourself an empty shell, a manufactured disguise to seduce and to satisfy your own needs in your eyes she's less than an object manipulator, i'm taking back what's mine shapeshifter, enter a hornet's nest run up to the apartment, kiss her hand and dance her into bed. can't you feel the guilt? making her a victim of your countless lies.

this constant fear of breeding with wildfires giving birth to arsonists armed with charcoal and the past seeking vengeance for my own disbelief waking up next to last nights' desperation the isolation is unbearable bruising and aching, torn apart again healing and mending, but never forgiving fate has found me stranded on this shore left me for dead as the vultures arrive clutching the last of these audacious nights her scarlet eyes scarcely said it all anticipation got the best of us let down, let go, let the ocean drown us repeat, remove, replace the air with ether these veins connect us to the soil our bodies are dissolving into a single nights falter is this the price of intimacy? nothing left for anxiety to disintegrate nothing left for sorrow to mourn false hope fracturing what's left of this year unstitching the bleak fate sown onto me pale and worn out, i shelter as she crawls out of my skin clutching the last of these audacious nights her scarlet eyes scarcely said it all anticipation got the best of us nothing left for sorrow to mourn

standing on the shoreline it felt like we already were lovers i swear i've seen you before in my arms and in my bed they took me away he lived my life as i lived through you feeling love but no passion remembering without recollection what brought you back here? after every apology we're starting over don't ever leave me again you're not even aware that we are depleted if we're starting over don't ever leave me as your hair gently flows with the symmetry of your shoulders they couldn't make me forget you even if they tried after all that we've been through you don't even trust me, do you? erase the photographs erase the memories, life we had but still running off the edge of the map come back, i miss you come back, for the days we have left come back, if this means anything to you but you don't even trust me, do you? what brought you back here? after every apology we're starting over don't ever leave me again you're not even aware that we are depleted if we're starting over don't ever leave

i spent nights with minus degrees every spark we had is the only warmth that i have this winter will stay the same until i let go we're thawing away we're digging our own grave all talk and no actions, we're stuck here crying along with the tears of the skyline and i felt how the snow pulled me down dyed hair and sweets turned into the mark of a cigarette burn a three year old heartache returns with a stolen smile there's blood on my hands, but it's the blood of my own i'm through with wishing we're all blessed with broken homes despising all that i could not forget blindfolded and gagged, we wander in circles for days sacrifice what's left of your life to unite with the storm i'm struggling to make it out of here alive ears defeaned from the sound of her departure sacrifice what's left of your life to unite with the storm when the blizzard arrives i spent nights with minus degrees every spark we had is the only warmth that i have this winter will stay the same until i let go we're thawing away we're digging our own grave all talk and no actions, we're stuck here when the blizzard arrives

she lays safe and sound under the stars. trying to grasp them, her limbs too fragile, and so her heart sweeps them in. pushing me out. the city had nothing for her, she learned to build and to mend. i'm stuck in this glass prison, forgetting how to feel. is this how everything ends? the ground beneath me splits, when she walks with him. putting thorns in to my heels, watch me decompose. am i weak, or am i shattered by fear? am i weak, or am i worn out? am i dead, or dead to myself? am i dead, or fading? tearing apart as i see those three numbers. respulsed by the thought of her skin, i only saw you as undone, because i saw myself in you. you're the last place to shelter – from the killing sundown, and the path home. the tears i've shed, turned into oceans. i'm safe for now. the ground beneath me splits, when she walks with him. putting thorns in to my heels, watch me decompose. 18 höstar och jag kunde inte vara mer vilsen mitt rum består av tomma flaskor och splittrat glas dina initialer bildar de två vägarna vi möttes på mina asfalterar bara en ny väg ut från ett mörknande örebro vi kanske skulle backa tillbaka några år dricka och dansa hjärndöda till tomma ord tills vi vet vart vi står men oavsett hur vi vrider och vänder på ord så handlar allting om hur vi bara vill förtränga men nu börjar jag inse att inte ens uppsala eller stockholm är långt bort nog för att jag ska kunna glömma dig du brinner, men jag inte göra nånting jag ser hur konturerna ändras när du varsamt målar över mig på tavlan du målade sent i maj en pojke med ögonblicket där hoppet dör och målar istället min bödel och giljotin du brinner, men jag drunknar i koldioxiden genom slangen från avgasröret vi tynar bort i soluppgången. vi försvinner. tillsammans. is this how everything ends?

swallowed by the sound of your voice an illusion of our whispers piercing the silence longing for more than a breath against the neck of our nights and my pathetic excuse for a spine took the shivers and turned it into anxiety how i loathe my mind and its curse to give in at every confrontation losing touch and chemistry with passion and emotion perscriptioned hope and forgiveness just to feel like everybody else standing at point a, but too afraid to find point b(e) strong, be yourself, be everything that you're not pretend that this town isn't your deathbed ”darling, take the pills and you'll be fine.” passed out on the hospital floor trying to scream but i'm tongue tied ”at least you're alive” when you're dead inside, what counts as living? i'm marching to the beat of a dead stallion blinded by the light at the end of the road the fear took over and this is where it lead me an empty bed filled with guilt and remorse tracing the whirlwind back to her to let the drugs say our last words i'm sorry that i never bid you farewell that we never shared that night that night meant the world but the world means nothing to me keep me alive by the needle, the sweet nectar of your lips, and the longing for this to end it started with the frost that january casted upon me i needed a comfort that only february could bring but only to be ignored, so march drenches me in sorrow someone save me april, let me go, i can see may and june from here escape from the deadly grips of spring, into the opened arms of july decieved by summer, august stabbed me in the back september just stood there, laughed and mocked me for ever trying october, my lover, have mercy please but it only lured me to the leaves of november sacrificing me to december, putting me in a chokehold i'm running out of air, through a year in the static

i'm choking for every minute alone longing for a heartbeat to lead me away from grief one million nights and you're still under my skin vultures in my bed, waiting for me to give in every drop of blood is a feast young feathers scattered in the shape of a shattered heart only you could sweep them away unless it's all in my head... unless it's all in my head. for every day without you here the blood of the past takes over my veins for every day without your eyes it's time to forgive for every night sleeping with ghosts getting paler and paler for every night i never woke up it's time to forget i'll rest by the neck of the mountain creating clouds of discourse keeping me from hearing the silence between -- time slips away, out of my bloody hands seconds fly past me, haunting me for forgetting them time keeps slipping away, with every breath that leaves her chest in solitude, we will become one are we bound by fate or by illusion? in solitude, we will become one when you were falling in love i was falling apart when you were falling in love i was falling apart unless it's all in my head... unless it's all in my head for every day without you here the blood of the past takes over my veins for every day without your eyes it's time to forgive for every night sleeping with ghosts getting paler and paler for every night i never woke up it's time to forget

so here we are still stuck in this town counting down, counting days, counting on me to forgive and forget i'm painting a smile on my lips just to move on standing at the station, getting on the next train to nowhere every town is painted with your eyes with an eraser and a pencil, i draw this land of sorrow into a land of hope still, i leave myself colorless after every sleepless night after every fever dream of your hair setting fire to my wooden heart all the times I wish that you were mine and I was yours entwined until the end, no matter what that meant am i the past, or am i forgotten? disconnect, disconnect, picture perfect (you never meant to harm me) harm is everything i have left of you eighteen years means nothing eighteen years won't haunt me letting go and moving on letting go and moving on eighteen years didn't count with me eighteen years didn't forgive me tonight, i'm letting go. i'm moving on. through storms, and hopelessness i'll find someone to share this sunset with we're a car crash between love and labor we are ruins and bruises but they're not our own they are the evidence that we've grown apart eighteen years means nothing eighteen years won't haunt me letting go and moving on letting go and moving on eighteen years didn't count with me eighteen years didn't forgive me so why should i forgive them? why should i move on? why should i forgive them? why should i move on? to let go is all i have left i will wither away. i will wither away. I never had the chance to start over I never had the chance to forget, just like you I never had the chance to end my own life I never had one to begin with ”I seem to have some sort of control nowadays” i'm not even sure what that means i'm not sure I ever did this life is out of reach for me to live again eighteen years, and I'm still looking back at every defeat i will not forgive you i will not forget us but you already did I gave up, I lost hope no more dusk, no more dawn at sunrise, I’ll be gone.