New Leaf

from by Concubine

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lyrics

so here we are

still stuck in this town
counting down, counting days,
counting on me to forgive and forget
i'm painting a smile on my lips just to move on

standing at the station,
getting on the next train to nowhere
every town is painted with your eyes
with an eraser and a pencil,
i draw this land of sorrow into a land of hope
still, i leave myself colorless

after every sleepless night
after every fever dream of your hair setting fire to my wooden heart
all the times I wish that you were mine
and I was yours
entwined until the end, no matter what that meant

am i the past, or am i forgotten?
disconnect, disconnect, picture perfect
(you never meant to harm me)
harm is everything i have left of you

eighteen years means nothing
eighteen years won't haunt me
letting go and moving on
letting go and moving on

eighteen years didn't count with me
eighteen years didn't forgive me
tonight, i'm letting go.
i'm moving on.

through storms, and hopelessness
i'll find someone to share this sunset with
we're a car crash between love and labor
we are ruins and bruises
but they're not our own
they are the evidence that we've grown apart

eighteen years means nothing
eighteen years won't haunt me
letting go and moving on
letting go and moving on

eighteen years didn't count with me
eighteen years didn't forgive me
so why should i forgive them?
why should i move on?

why should i forgive them?
why should i move on?

to let go is all i have left
i will wither away.
i will wither away.

I never had the chance to start over
I never had the chance to forget, just like you
I never had the chance to end my own life
I never had one to begin with

”I seem to have some sort of control nowadays”
i'm not even sure what that means
i'm not sure
I ever did

this life is out of reach
for me to live again
eighteen years,
and I'm still looking back at every defeat

i will not forgive you
i will not forget us
but you already did

I gave up, I lost hope
no more dusk, no more dawn
at sunrise, I’ll be gone.

credits

from A Year in the Static, released September 9, 2012

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